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I liked her better free than simply another part of me.And so I let her go. Once and for all I let her go. I drove down a busy strip of our city on that Saturday night, all by myself, crying my eyes out once again, but finally resolved. Finally sure about what I was supposed to do, what I had to do.And then the dog turned around and chased his tail again—I changed my mind again. I loved her so deeply, so strongly, so completely, I couldn't bear the thought of not having her in her life. Her kisses, her touch, her giggles, her hugs, her voice in my ear, her hair on my chest, her eyes staring into mine with so much beauty I felt like I wasn't even alive. How could I let all that go? How could I simply give up? How could I ever love anyone else that much? How would I ever be happy again? She was everything to me, my whole universe, and to not have her with me, to let her go and watch her be happy with someone else, felt like death—worse than death: it felt like hell.And so I cried some. "Aye, 'tis a lucky man that you are Chris" Sean said as he turned with me to look at the four beautiful women in my life, he looked decidedly uncomfortable in his suit, the tie half strangling him and his rather generous stomach threatening to burst out at any minute over the top of his trousers."You may kiss the bride" the vicar said and we both mouthed "I love you" as we kissed and Sean, big, bad, brawny Sean wiped his eyes with a surprisingly clean handkerchief,"The bloody smoke's getting in me eyes" he complained and shuffled his feet in embarrassment when I pointed out the complete lack of even candle smoke in the place!We flew out that same night to the Maldeves, a group of islands in the Indian ocean, just me and my wife, the girls were left in charge of the extension work and Mandy seemed particularly happy when we agreed that Seamus could stay in the house until our return.The flights were long and arduous but Jane was almost overcome by the tranquil beauty of the islands,.
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